FINDING THE SOURCE

The water was disappearing more and more all the time.  Our sacred backyard sanctuary had a leak.  The pond needed to be filled every couple of days.

We put the pond in ourselves in 2004.  We really didn’t know what we were doing.  We researched for years and decided to go ahead with our limited knowledge and experience.  We ordered a kit, rented a backhoe, and followed the instructions.  It turned out beautifully and we enjoy it immensely.  The Koi and gold fish are maturing and the water plants need little care.  But that “limited knowledge and experience” piece does come back to haunt us.

There are two important steps the instructions did not cover adequately. First, how important sealing the main seam is!  Second, they never mentioned that the liner needed to be fitted inside the waterfall spill-over.  We paid careful and diligent attention to the main seam when we sealed it.  I believe it is a waterproof seam serving us well.  But the other issue with the waterfall spill-over has caused us grief.

We knew we had small amounts of water leaking around the waterfall, but feared a much bigger problem.  It seemed like a daunting task to tackle the leak.  Surely it would require de-construction and re-construction.

One Saturday I was working in the gardens – weeding, moving plants, and playing with the stone around the pond – when I noticed moving water where it wasn’t supposed to be.  Outside of the waterfall and creek a small trickle of water was discovered.  I began moving rock, pulling mint plants, and clearing out roots of a reed that sucks water from the pond.  Slowly but surely I made my way up to the source of the leak.  There, before my eyes, water was emerging from a place I never imagined.

I vacillated between joy and hesitation.  Would this be a simple fix or a major de-construction project?  And then, two simple solutions quietly emerged.  First, we could carefully work with the liner and simply re-route the water back to the pond.  Or second, we could fill the hole with concrete; creating a dam or plug, and hopefully the source of the leak would re-route itself down the waterfall.  If you know the temperament of moving water, the second option could be risky and wasn’t likely a viable solution.  So, I began working with the liner to catch and re-route the leak.

I expected the worst.  Fixing the leak seemed like such a big project.  But I was delightfully surprised to find a gentle little stream of water where it wasn’t supposed to be.  For now, the liner has been manipulated to re-route the water and it seems to be a manageable solution.

There are times in my life when I experience energy leaks.  Finding the source means two  things to me.  First, it is important for me to understand where my leaks originate.  Where and why am I loosing energy?  Finding that source helps me address the issues and move back into wholeness.  Second, finding my Source, my center, the spiritual essence of who I really am, is a powerful daily practice.  This Source is an abundant stream of powerful energy that fuels my life.  This infinite Source of love and light can heal any leak, wound, block, or congestion, and move me into right relationship with myself and the world around me.  Having an intimate and infinite relationship with my Beloved Source illuminates dark shadows, ignorance, and self-doubt.  This constant companion is so life-affirming!

So, when something is out of balance and I’m feeling low, all I need to do is be still, go within, and find that Source… S/he leads me beside the still waters.  S/he restores my soul!

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My TWO Birthdays

“Fly free and happy beyond birthdays and across forever, and we’ll meet now and then when we wish, in the midst of the one celebration that never can end.” ~ Richard Bach

I have two birthdays.  No, I wasn’t born at midnight.  I was born on my sisters first birthday, so I thought — December 16, 1962.  Every year I would share my birthday, birthday cake, and birthday presents with my sister.  And for the first fifteen years of my life, that was my day — well, our day.  Then on December 15th when I turned 15, my dad called to wish me “Happy Birthday.”  He told me that my birthday was really the 15th and my mom wanted it on the 16th because it was “cute.”  Hmmm…  I asked my mom and she continued to profess the 16th.  And, so began the two-birthday conundrum.

In my early twenties, I needed a passport so I got my birth certificate.  It said, “December 16, 1962.”  So there — it was settled.  I was born on December 16th.  For the next several years I celebrated the 16th and my dad continued to call me on the 15th.  Then one day in my early 30’s, my mom gave me the hospital certificate where they put your feet prints in ink.  It was typed December 16, 1962, but the nurse signed it in green ink, December 15, 1962!  At this point, I was really confused.  I asked my mother again and she continued to profess the 16th.

Years went by and the two-birthday dance continued, until one day my mother called on December 15th.  She wanted to bring over a birthday gift.  I told her it wasn’t my birthday yet.  She agreed on the phone and brought the gift to my house.  She sat down and quickly said, “Okay, it’s time that I tell the truth.  You really were born on the 15th, but the hospital messed up and put the 16th on your birth certificate, so we just kept it that way.”

So, wow.  Hmmm… yeah.  Two birthdays.  One is my REAL BIRTH day, and the other is a LEGAL birthday.  It’s been the 16th on every legal document since I was born.  But the story doesn’t end there…

Several years later, my youngest sister called me and asked what my birth certificate said.  When I told her, she said, “You aren’t going to believe this!”  She got a copy of HER birth certificate and it had the wrong day!  She has celebrated January 9th all of her life and her birth certificate said January 8th!  True story.

So, what are lessons to be found?  Well, after years of having everyone “forget” a too-close-to-Christmas birthday, getting combined birthday/Christmas gifts at Christmas, sharing the day with my sister, and years of disillusion and confusion about the date, I decided to claim both days and CELEBRATE LIFE!  I discovered that I could feel bad about my “lack” of birthday, or I could feel joy and great abundance by making the best out of a goofy situation!  Welcome to my two birthdays!  I choose to celebrate life and all the bountiful blessings in the chaos.  Every year since I found out the truth, I have my own little private  birthday celebration that lasts for 48 hours!  I gave birth to a new sense of self and learned how to love, honor, and cherish me (and all my imperfections) more completely.

All We Need is LOVE

“All we need is love,” instructs John Lennon’s famous lyrics.  The sentiment is incredibly moving today as we enter this holiday season as well as this pivotal time in history.  Love is a unifying force that can improve the quality of life on earth, ignite planetary healing, and create global oneness.

There are many definitions of love, but let’s discuss the universal, altruistic love that is shared by most faith-based organizations.  Love is central to many religions, as in the phrase, “God is Love.”  Love is the ultimate grace and blessing where most do see eye to eye.  This love is a divine link that can bind us together and the redeeming force that can reconcile the hearts of humanity.

In the Bahá’í faith, love is the light that guides in the darkness, the living link that unites God with man, that force that assures the progress of every illumined soul.  Bahá’í’s believe love reveals, with unfailing and limitless power, the mysteries latent in the universe.

The Dalai Lama said, “Love, compassion and tolerance are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive.”  In Buddhism, love is unconditional and requires considerable self-acceptance. They believe this is quite different from “ordinary” love, which is usually about attachment and rarely occurs without self-interest. Instead, it refers to detachment and unselfish interest in the welfare of others.

In the Jewish tradition followers are encouraged to show mercy, love, and compassion to their brother and, as the Torah commands, love God “with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your might.”  In the Christian faith, there are numerous references from “love your enemies” to the greatest commandment: love one another.  It is said, “God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him.”

Sufism explains the essence of God as love and the Sufi path is a path of love.  Love is to see what is good and beautiful in everything.  The aim is to be accepted as a lover by the Beloved God.  Love encompasses the Islamic view of life as universal brotherhood that applies to all who hold faith.

Love is an inter-faith, universal virtue.  This magnificent and beautiful imperative is swelling and pulsing within the hearts of humanity.  There is a collective awakening stirring within us and contributing to a global shift in consciousness.  The conclusion?  We are ONE.  Therefore, love ONE another.

Be a part of the global shift.  From, and through, the love of your divine source, start with yourself.  This love is a critical key to healing the planet.  Self-acceptance and unconditional love for oneself is foundational.  You cannot love God or others completely without loving yourself first.  It doesn’t work that way.   In loving yourself completely, you will activate a healing resonance greater than yourself and prepare the way for all other love.

Rumi wrote,  “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”  Love yourself and you open the floodgates for universal, altruistic love to permeate every cell of your being and every corner of the universe.  You pave the way to “Love your enemies.”

There’s a visceral yearning inside each of us to love.  Take a few minutes everyday and focus on universal love with the intention of increasing your energetic field of love.  Breathe into your heart and allow it to expand… open… and guide you. Direct your attention to your heart and rest in the awareness of universal LOVE.

Next, imagine sending love to your loved ones, neighbors, community, and expand this field of love to all beings on our planet.  Include all races, religions, and those different from you.  And, yes, include any “enemies” you may have.  This powerful intention will assist you to embody universal love.  And, there’s another benefit to this practice:  all sacred wisdom and guidance comes from this place!  You are building your soul’s navigation system.

“All we need is love!”  This holiday season allow your heart to embrace this world with all its amazing beauty, diversity, and need.  We are called to deeply love those who are different from ourselves.  It’s time to break down the walls that divide us, love one another, and BE in the heart of God.  Kahlil Gibran, writes, “When you love you should not say, “God is in my heart,” but rather, “I am in the heart of God.”  Come join in the co-creative path of love… I’ll meet you in the heart of God where we will unite and ignite loving peace on earth!

Divinity, Being

Emerging from a dark and quiet world

Amid seasons of uncertainty and fear

Shines a bright light extending from the womb

The warmth of the mother’s breast

Comforts the soul and nourishes life

Creating a safe refuge in shades of deep red earth

The sacred companion embraces challenge

And smoothes away the bumps along the path

Teaching one to breathe, to exhale, to be

The orange dance is a turbulent fire

Yet the child of life sparks a sense of belonging

Surprised, she creates something greater than herself

The artist’s palette changes hue

While eternity expresses herself in awesome wonder

Through a brilliant yellow sunflower

Discovering the WholeSelf in a fragrant field of many

She smiles and has a cup of tea

While a soft breeze in celebration fills the air

The heart grows translucent

And expands with waves of resonance

The naked rhythm of a neighbor’s pain

Pierces awareness, while green bleeds and mourns

Discovering the element of peace, present within

Compassion sustains the greater good

The voice of justice sings in sweet harmony

Through the daunting blue terrain

Inspiring hope

The law of nature nurses the wound

And creative counsel calms the masses

Like cupcakes, true expression is a healing balm

The mind’s eye understands

And pauses in perfect stillness for reflection

Contemplating a deeper intention

The indigo prayer creates a space for openness

Becoming a center for Divine Consciousness

To move freely in the world

In the depths of her nothingness

Death whispers, as she becomes infinitely real

And surrenders into Love

One mind, One heart, One body

The gift of presence is made known

In perfect balance she is Divinity, Being

~ Julie Krull

ONE is Born

Your soul is calling

Your wild, radical curiosity knows

Go deeper still

 

Unity is birthing herself

And dissolving all that is

Go deeper into the stillness

Feel the painful rupture

Breaking, burning, and

Bursting into consciousness

Surrender to her whisper

And screams of mortal pain

Bow to the carnage of duality

Dying… Death… Done

Go deeper still

 

Into the womb of promise

ONE is born

 

by Julie Krull

Getting Out of My Head

I haven’t written a traditional blog entry since my accident.  Remember the blog, “Mirror, Mirror on the Wall,” where I talked about my freak accident and head injury?  Well, life peeled back another layer that day and almost everything (and no-thing) changed.  The veil between my body and consciousness thinned even more with that event, as I nursed myself back to the real world of life incarnate.   Something shifted.  I brought a deeper, richer, more integrated understanding of ME back to corporal life.  In fact, the individual, ego-based ME, was knocked out of the ballpark.  A soft, content essence of calm knowing was left.  I was less able to be in my head, thinking, and surrendered to a state of total PRESENCE.

Since then, I’ve experienced a creative blast — painting, writing poetry, visioning, and downloading information from the universe daily, like never before.  I am more free-spirited — moving with what presents in the moment and trusting that God and the universe support me.  I am more passionate, sensual, and alive with a boundless imagination.  I am more present.  I am embodying a new consciousness, a divine presence, and integrating all of who I am.  I’m tuned in, able to hear Source more fluently. Sadly, I literally had to get knocked out, and LOOSE CONSCIOUSNESS, to remember who I am in this visceral new way.

So what shifted?  What have I learned?

I used to be “in my head” a lot!  I mean, A LOT!  Yet, I was out of my head and out of my body a lot, too.  I have been a mystic since early childhood.  I’ve had many experiences throughout my life that have, at times, transcended my human understanding, including a near death experience, regular out-of-body experiences, awe-inspiring moments of oneness with all of creation, journeys to other realms, visions, and intuitive gifts.  Some believe those who endure great trauma in life open a portal to the other realms.  If this is true, I get it — my childhood was peppered with adverse experiences and trauma.  Others say that highly creative people live closer to the edge of other realities.  I get that, too.

So when I wasn’t out of my body having profound spiritual and mystical experiences, I was in my head searching for more cosmic insight and trying to figure things out.  I have spent incredible amounts of energy looking for ways to bring the two worlds together.  I’ve exhausted countless hours trying to devise gentle ways to tell those in both religion, and medicine, that they’re missing something.  I’ve consumed years of my career studying and training in Buddhist Psychology, mindfulness, Christian Contemplative Traditions, Centering Prayer, meditation, world religions, energy studies, holistic health, and Mind/Body Medicine.  I was so wrapped up in my head wanting to unlock the mysteries of the universe and help relieve suffering from the illusion of separation, that I, myself, created more of the separation.  Unknowingly, I was fueling a mind/body split, instead of fully embodying consciousness.   Now, I get it!  It’s NOT an either/or deal when it comes to consciousness.  The universe literally had to knock me over the head to wake me up a little more.

Humanity has spent thousands of years “practicing” different paths to enlightenment in the same manner.  We have created a myth that nirvana, or Heaven exists outside of ourselves, and we practiced leaving our bodies (or dying) to get there.   We’ve believed in deities that are separate from ourselves, usually outside the universe, and created illusions of separation from God and our fellow wo/man.  We’ve endured a hunger for the sacred and searched for intellectual answers from teachers, gurus, and drug-induced mystical experiences. We’ve fought over our definitions of “the one true religion” and killed in the name of Allah.  We’ve created Theology by thinking about, and studying, God and we’ve believed the mystics were Saints from long ago or modern day “woo-woo” pagan crazy people.  Yet, we still thirst for a divinity that mirrors more closely an experiential, knowing presence and fail to have language to describe it.

The good news is, we are waking up from the illusions of separation.  We are waking from our perceived dualistic existence.  We are evolving into beings that can fully embody divine consciousness.  It’s a beautiful time to be alive on our planet and witness the evolution of the psyche!  We no longer need to leave our bodies to discover bliss, Nirvana, or God. We can stop searching and dissolve completely into our BEINGness.  It’s time to occupy our bodies more completely – staying present, staying grounded on the earth, and staying connected to Source.  It’s time to remember who we really are and ride the wave of conscious evolution.

So, surrender. Knock yourself silly with bliss. Get out of your head and into your life.  Get out of your “me” and into the knowing.  Allow the veil between you and divine consciousness to thin even more.

Abundant Blessings, Julie

The Essence of Emptiness

I fearlessly go to the empty abyss

A vast open space where I’m infinitely free

Spilling over with abundant nothingness

Purposefully with no purpose

Meaningfully of no meaning

Vacant, yet pulsing with presence

As I rest in the awareness of nothing

I am valuable beyond measure with no value

Ah, the essence of emptiness

Blissfully bare and beautifully blank

I’ll meet you where we do not exist

And we’ll become one in our void

Where the fullness of nothing is always enough