Breaking Open

Fruit is supposed to be sweet, right?  Well, sometimes.  Red juicy strawberries are amazing.  I love red juicy strawberries.  But sometimes, they are tart.  My mother-in-law sprinkles them with sugar.  Actually, if truth were told, there’s no “sprinkling.”  She slices them and covers them with lots of sugar!

Bananas always did well at our house when the kids were home. I like them firm and on the greener side.  My husband and boys like them when they start getting brown spots.  And, my daughter loves them ripe.  I’m not fond of the soft, mushy, super-sweet bananas.  But it didn’t matter, because if they got to that stage and my daughter wasn’t around to enjoy them, they would get put in the freezer for the next loaf of banana bread.  Apples are the same.  We all have different favorites.  I like my apples firm and crisp with a juicy, sweet-tart combination.  I used to think the redder the apple the better, but that just isn’t true.  Again, I’m not fond of the soft, mushy apples.

I’ve been eating a lot of blueberries this summer.  This past weekend, I mindfully observed myself reaching for the larger berries first.  And then I would eat the smaller ones in descending order – from biggest to smallest.  I learned a lot from the berries.  First, the larger ones aren’t necessarily the sweetest.  “The bigger the better” is NOT true.  I found large berries that were tart, sweet, and variations between.  And the same is true for the smallest berries.  Some of the smallest berries were succulent and heavenly.  Why do I reach for the large ones first?

Until this past weekend, I have never eaten a blueberry that was smashed or broken open.  Maybe it’s partly because I don’t want to stain anything.  But mostly, it’s the reason I mentioned:  I’m not fond of soft, mushy fruit.  Soft and mushy usually grosses me out!  However, everything changed when I accidently put a soft and mushy, broken-open blueberry in my mouth. It was stuck to one of those big berries and I didn’t see it.  Instantly, when I felt the soft and mushy texture, I wanted to cringe.  However, something amazing happened.  The broken-open blueberry captured my attention with its sweet, pleasurable “real blueberry” flavor.  It was as if I tasted a REAL blueberry for the first time.  Yum!

Sometimes life is like that.  Some of our experiences are on the firm and green side.  Some are tart; others are sweet.  Some are big; others are small.  But it’s those times when we surrender and allow ourselves to be broken open that show us what we’re really made of – our true essence.  I’ve been broken open many times in my life.  As I think back on my journey, I remember the times I tried to put myself back together as quickly as I thought I could.  It never really worked.  There were other times when I was disgusted at the “soft and mushy” parts of me.  Similar to that of fruit, I would try to throw away the soft and mushy, broken-open pieces of me.  Discard them.  I was broken… I must be garbage… disgusting.  That never really worked, either.  And then there were the times when I left my broken open self un-attended, and the soft and mushy quickly turned to mold.  Yuk.  That just left an unpleasant odor in my life.  It’s sad… I didn’t realize the sweet essence of ME that was begging to be tasted.

I’ve been broken open again, and the experience this time is so different.  The sweet nectar of the real me is a delicious new experience.  I’m playing in the soft and mushy essence of divinity expressing itself through me.  It’s messy and mushy and sweet.  I am delighting in all the new ways of being.  There’s no form and I’m not “broken,” I’m just perfectly “broken open.”   Drinking in the joy of my true essence, I experience the fullness of who I really am.  Maybe I’ve never before been truly developed to the point of readiness for the harvest of my full, mature, rich life.  But in this moment, the suitable time has arrived, and breaking open feels like the perfect gesture to honor the season of my soul’s ripe journey.   There’s nothing to put back together – to fix.  There’s nothing to throw away – no garbage.  There’s nothing stinky or moldy – I’m not spoiled.  It is just the pure, blissful essence of the REAL me spilling out and expressing itself in the world.

Life is sweet… Break open!

 

Peace.